Admiration

Some people are more curious than others. Some ask a lot of questions. I sometimes get questions on my temp jobs, especially the reoccuring places. Some lecturers have also been curious by nature. It is very strange, since I think of myself as a failiure as a human being according to Swedish standard, what ever that is. But I can see the people are often so impressed if I really answer their questions of that I have done in parts of my life. I am not impressed. I just feel like shit. I don’t think I have done anything. I see it as if I lack success in the whole picture. But I can see how they are eager to know more… I am glad I don’t have to stay so long, so they cannot ask more. For my job period, for my studies, we need to think of how to present ourselves. I want to say nothing, but still give enough, so I don’t get any additional questions about myself. So what should I say? How should I present myself? Hello, I am x and I doing my on the job training here. I study to become… I have done… before. I don’t know what to say, don’t want to impress them. I rather don’t want to give them high hopes since I am a failiure in so many ways. I want to set the bar low, but not as low so they loose respect. Why? Why do I have to tell anything about myself? But that is included in the assignments we have for the university. *Pust*.

I have a lot of things on my mind. Mostly I am not up for working at all, that clouds my mind really. Don’t like talking. The outgoing personality isn’t really outgoing at all… I rather hear about them instead.