Counting days

So first day checked. I have done my first day of summer work. I am tired. I was starving when I got home. Feeling nausea because of that. Had to eat and lay down… Now I have a slight head ace. I have been sad after work.

My work is so ironic. I cannot even tell you. If you knew, you would wonder how I feel about it. I don’t know what to feel about it. It affects my whole life. The day went through very fast. The ones I interacted with where nice people. Young. Nice. I don’t know what else to say. Everybody seems nice, but since I only have to much bad experiences I won’t believe in anything until the last day. I will go there. I will do what I have to do, as long as they let me.

I felt bad after work. My partner got me from work, there is no good parking there. My partner asked how I felt about it. This company is working for my partners company, so of course it wanted to know. I said everything went fine, but I still feel bad. I had enormous issues last evening. This is my PTS. I know I would go on sick leave if I told a doctor about these things. Swedish work places have abused me for so many years that I don’t think highly of myself anymore in a regular work space. If I could choose I wouldn’t work. I cannot be in one place for to long. I am used to be tossed away. This is my life. A disappointment from day one to the Swedish society.

I get stressed by working. I feel bad. I get physical symptoms. I think bad thoughts about myself. I cannot take more abuse, I am so scared of being abused. I already dismantle myself from the summer job because of my experiences. . . Sweden and Swedish people are the reason for my PTS.


Published by: humane living

I am a driver, not just a bystander. I don't want and I don't take passangers. You may read as a reader and let your role be as a reader and commenter. No more than that. My art stays here, with me, don't copy, don't quote, don't reblog, I claim all my copyright rights according to Swedish law according to Upphovsrättslagen, so look and listen for free here on my property only, thanks. You accept the terms if you visit this site. This is my cyberspace and you are the visitor. Have a nice experience. I react, when seeing, through the democratic power of the word. Use none violent actions to change the world.

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