Dear friend, farewell

I have been to a friends funeral this week. It is sad. I meet my friends kids and partner. The funeral had a lot of people. Didn’t count, but over a 100. Relatives, friends, colleagues. I didn’t take even one photo, didn’t see anyone do that either. It is sad that I have been to a baptism, wedding and a funeral for this friend. I was their photographer during the baptism and wedding. It is sad that someone so loved and so young left its place vacant. The father is a priest and he held a long speech about his child at the funeral. We had a rose sermon, everyone left a rose in color of choice by the coffin. I said his name and then stated “you should at least have lived another 40 years”. That was my goodbye. I think its hard for the partner. I have seen this person from its teens until adulthood. It is very sad, but this person left an imprint in everyone it meet. Very beloved. It had a lot of visitors at the funeral, like a really old person around 80, with lot of friends and relatives. My grandmother had an equally well visited funeral with a lot of people. She also left an imprint, even though I never understood her really. It was interesting to know a little bit more about our friend. My friends last wish was that we would donate money instead of buying expensive flowers. So we donated to the children’s activity of choice, it didn’t even want us to donate to cancer research. Also it wants us all to meet next year and have a party and not a funeral. What does that say about my friend? People like this shouldn’t die, the world needs them. Never egoist. They have started a fund in my friend’s memory. Many have also donated to cancer research. So many had donated in my friend’s name so they couldn’t read the donations at the funeral, they where to many. The family was very thankful. I told the partner it was welcome with or without kids to Stockholm, either to just be an adult without the kids, or to have fun with the kids. I also said it could call anytime, any hour. I’ve said it before. I saw the sadness, the lack of sleep, the lack of eating in my friend. I see those things. My partner was blind, as usual. I think it must be the hardest for the partner, being so much in love and seeing the partner get sick and then die. Hmmm. The partner had said to the friend that it was okay to let go. The sibling to the friend had said that to. I think this is very much why it died, it let go. This is something relatives and partners must think about when people are sick. For who do you want them to live? For who? I see this in patients to, they die when they let go of life.

I usually dream of weddings when someone is gong to die. I had such a dream last year. But nobody died, until now. Only pets I know. But for that reason, and that I photographed this friends wedding. It is very strange, but both my friends that have had cancer I have photographed their weddings. But the other one survived. I am sad. I am allowed to be sad. I am not as sad when an old person dies. My friend lived life to the fullest, didn’t wait for life to happen. Someone with a lot of joy and love. A really good life. That is why so many attended the funeral. I wouldn’t have many at mine. I know that. No more than on my birthdays. I said to my partner I don’t even need a real funeral. I can go to cremation, when its time. Then my sibling and my partner has instructions what to do with the ashes. But no other than my sibling or partner really needs to attend that ceremony. I don’t think anyone has to attend. If they are not alive themselves way in the future, I guess it will be the kid that has to do it. Well. Nobody cared about me in this life, so why when I would pass? So I don’t want a funeral. Maybe that is strange, but I don’t need liers. This is my least favorite life, so why let other’s lie? My father didn’t attend my grandfathers funeral. You get it right? He wouldn’t come to my wedding either. So, with that kind of father, who really need enemies? He doesn’t even hate me. He likes me, but still, he cannot face my mother… so with that said. I might live long, so that even won’t be an option? Well. I will attend theirs when that day comes when they are way passed a hundred, hopefully.

Here is a Jewish wedding music video with Denelle & Yacov. The music is One Republic – All This Time. It surely fits this post, since I happened to photograph the dead friends wedding many years ago. It is lovely to think of weddings, love, eternal friendship and the beloved in times of sadness. The video is a lovely way of documentation of a wonderful day in many people’s life’s. So instead of thinking funerals, why not weddings? They also have tears, but happy tears.

 

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Published by: humane living

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