Kroppen säger

… jag är helt slut. Jag är trött. Men knoppen säger, jag vill vara vaken, jag har massor kvar att tänka. Kroppen ger sig för hjärnans vilja och låter armarna och ryggen sacka ihop i stolen, framför en dator. Allt för att hjärnan så gärna vill, men snart är det dags att vara kroppen till lags och vila den arma stackars arbetshästen. Sömn, skönhetssömn, för att behålla sin hälsa och vigör. Sitter och läser nyheterna och undrar vad som pågått under tiden jag arbetat och gjort slut på energidepån för dagen. Dags att vila, så kroppens celler kan repareras och fixa allt som gått sönder under dagen. Ingen vila, jobb, skola, hela veckan. Ingen ledig dag. Livet måste få in cash. Ruljansen måste fortgå, så livet kan fortgå. Kapitalismen segrar, då den kräver din frihet. Arbete för att maximera sina överlevnadsmöjligheter. Har ännu inte jobbat ihop minikvoten för överlevnad för februari. Måste jobba mer… men ack dagarna vi är lediga är få. Mycket få. Lediga dagar går till jobb, men tentan pockar på. En gammal relik från förra kursen kräver också att få uppmärksamhet, en ny framläggning. Usch, inget lockar just nu. Önskar jag var välfinansierad och slapp jobba. Vi får se vad som står inför dörren och om framtiden bjuder på några pengar i överflöd eller inte. Eh, utopi.

Life and regular days

Well, this week surely passed fast. Didn’t have much time to think. Had an examination and I passed. Thanks for that. I am working all weekend, need to earn a living. Perhaps I will get more funds from the state to study, now that I am accepted in this program. I think my subject is valid for the purpose. That means they increase the amount. I will just have to see. If that is so, that my education and my subject is valid, then I won’t have to work as much during my studies. I will have to work during the summer though.

I am all alone this weekend, with the kid, but since I am working we have arranged child care. I had no other option than to work my free days. When am I supposed to work otherwise? Could really use the funds. It is though making the hours when I have so many study days.

My computer is totally screwed. It doesn’t even want Internet anymore. Imagine, having so many computers… and all that are mine are simply fucked. One is okay, but I have forgotten the password… I cannot even understand what I have chosen. I tested so many. Have to reinstall it and I am not up for that. I have been busy enough with my current. I am getting tired of it. I am not that found of computers… I am outerly bored with maintenance. I just want the things to work, without me having to address issues.

Well. The winter continues in Sweden. The snow has melted away, but it has gotten cold. So the roads are somewhat icy anyways.

 

 

Impressed

I am rather impressed by my fellow students. Oh, what backgrounds they have. And they have chosen to study the same, as me. Interesting. Highly educated people, older and semi younger students. None are directly from high school, since they all have studied before. I am so impressed by them. Have looked at a few CV’s and I am amazed. What extraordinary people. What knowledge. I feel like a alien… amongst them. But even if they are smarter than me, I hope I have other qualfications… starting to wonder if I have any? Haha. Mindrevärdeskomplex, prestationsångest, I can say in Swedish. (Inferiority complex, performance anxiety). It has been a busy week. Haven’t had time to study, since I have had lectures and seminars all week. I am a little bit nervous for tomorrows seminar. I hope I do well.

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