I am like a zoombie after work. I just want to sleeeeeeep everytime I get home. However I have obligations. I do them. When I am home alone with the kid I cannot fall asleep. However when the kid goes to bed, I fall asleep on the sofa. The temp job is really killing me. I have just put into the calender that I am free during this month. I wont put down I can work in March. I think this job is making me too tired.
Also the organisation I have been involved in for many years want me to help them with some stuff. I cannot right now, I have no energy at home. I am to tired, I am not having any life quality.
The job itself is very noisy and the environments and people are different everyday. It is very difficult to be alert all the time with new people. If I just met the same people it would perhaps be different. I have done this job before, but usually I had the opportunity to be located at one place all the time before. Now I am like running around all over the city. That is stressful. Stress makes me tired. I also have gotten my back pain back, which makes me stiff and not being able to fully move. My feet however are just fine, ever since I got my costume made cushions for my shoes.
However. I need one job, at one place. My brain is not equipped to meet this much people each week. I who do not even like people that much… imagine that. What a strain on my personality.
People might even think I am all outgoing, but that is just an illusion. I do not hang out with collegues after work, I do not go out to parties, I do not associate with new people after work other than attending some class or event. And at those classes or events I do not associate with people. I like to observe instead. Look at people. I prefer to hang out with people I know. So when you meet a talkative person in the future – they might not be social at all. I get all socializing by talking to people and then later on I have no need to talk or hang out, like others that perhaps do not talk do. I like my own company.
I have worked every day. However not full-time, so my part-time-days are rapidly becoming less and still no full-time job in sight. I am unwillingly a part-time-temp. I would very much want to work full-time.
But since I am so tired, perhaps it is good I am not, at least not in the temp job. However meeting new people each day is very tiredsome. “Jaaaawning”.
I want to sleep now, otherwise I cannot be up during the evening. This is how tired I am. This job really consumes my energy terribly.
I have worked part-time each day this week. Now I am really tired. Imagine having to learn people at 4 new places in one week. But that was my reality. One place was for two days. You have to be sharp, alert and make a good impression. Of course you get tired.
Even if I work part time I loose time. I have done all deeds this week. I have worked, applied for fun and boring and unintersting jobs as well. I have been a good citizen. Yet I haven’t been able to work full time with pay. Unfortunate but true. Now I need to sleep for a hour at least.
I have taken medication for this cold, but today I had to step up the treatment to cortizon. Hoping I will not have to take tablets too. But this cold is nasty. Tonight it took 4 hours before I could fall to sleep. I was sneezing, coughing, blowing my nose continuesly. I was either doing one or the other. I have a lot of snot in my nose. I also think (not confirmed) I have had fever parts of this day. I hope this is the peak of the cold and then I am hoping my body takes over the battle and starts winning. It is not fun having a cold. This cold also gave me red eyes for a while, so I am pretty certain which virus this is. A very common and nasty virus. I haven’t had this virus for a while. This virus often makes me land on my ass so that I have to start cortizone treatment. This is so that I can breath. If it don’t getter I guess I will have to go and breath some at the health center. When I get breathing problems in the middle of the night I have to go to a hospital. Then my night is totally fucked. This has happend a couple of times over the years. It is not fun when it happens when I am working, but since I am not right now, it really doesn’t matter. I have time to be sick. And since I am all alone with the pets I am not really distrubing anyone either. It is not fun to sleep in the same room as me when I get colds of this type. It is okey as long as I am awake and can take care of my cold. But when trying to sleep this cold can bother me and not let me sleep.
Tonight I fell asleep finally at 04.30. So I didn’ get much sleep at all. I had a meeting and had to get up at 10.00. At least I slept 5,5hours. Good thing the meeting wasn’t earlier.