I am so tired

I am like a zoombie after work. I just want to sleeeeeeep everytime I get home. However I have obligations. I do them. When I am home alone with the kid I cannot fall asleep. However when the kid goes to bed, I fall asleep on the sofa. The temp job is really killing me. I have just put into the calender that I am free during this month. I wont put down I can work in March. I think this job is making me too tired. 

Also the organisation I have been involved in for many years want me to help them with some stuff. I cannot right now, I have no energy at home. I am to tired, I am not having any life quality. 

The job itself is very noisy and the environments and people are different everyday. It is very difficult to be alert all the time with new people. If I just met the same people it would perhaps be different. I have done this job before, but usually I had the opportunity to be located at one place all the time before. Now I am like running around all over the city. That is stressful. Stress makes me tired. I also have gotten my back pain back, which makes me stiff and not being able to fully move. My feet however are just fine, ever since I got my costume made cushions for my shoes. 

However. I need one job, at one place. My brain is not equipped to meet this much people each week. I who do not even like people that much… imagine that. What a strain on my personality. 

People might even think I am all outgoing, but that is just an illusion. I do not hang out with collegues after work, I do not go out to parties, I do not associate with new people after work other than attending some class or event. And at those classes or events I do not associate with people. I like to observe instead. Look at people. I prefer to hang out with people I know. So when you meet a talkative person in the future – they might not be social at all. I get all socializing by talking to people and then later on I have no need to talk or hang out, like others that perhaps do not talk do. I like my own company. 

Scientists that cheat or darken facts – Forskare, fotboll och läkemedelsföretag som fuskar och mörkar

Why is there cheating within research institutes?

A program at SVT2 Vetenskapens Värld is showing a program about scientist that have cheated. They are taking up the concern when a investigative journalist had to find out that research seemed to be unproven and the research material wasn’t avialble for research.

I programmet berättas att en doktor anmäls för fem fall av fusk, får vi veta i programmet. Hon är anställd på ett universitet som professor, nu vill det universitetet sparka henne. Nu protesterar hennes handledare och någon mer, men det beslutet kan inte överklagas. Så om du väl blivit “bevisad” vara fuskare i din forskning hos Vetenskapsrådet så har du inga rättigheter att överklaga det beslutet. Centrala etikprövningsnämnden tar över ärendet så småningom och de friar handledaren som forskningsfuskare. De anser inte att det finns tillräckligt med underlag att det finns forskningsfusk, dvs de ansåg det inte bevisat att det var fusk. Allt berättas i programmet.

Min reaktion är: Vilken röra!

Programmet säger att Vetenskapsrådet ansågs också ha oordning. De som utrett forskningsfusket fick inte höras, enligt programmet.

Vet ni vad som jag tolkar programmet säga ligger bakom all forskningsfusk? Oordning och oreda. Hahaaha. Vill ni ha god kontroll på allt ni gör? Då är det en riktigt duktig person på just ordning och reda som behövs, en rigid kontrollant. Och ofta får dessa roller ta mycket skit?

Jag är inte förvånad, alla företag som inte har ordning och reda vill sällan ha ordning och reda när de väl måste utsättas för ordning och reda, för ordning och reda kräver tid. Det är ofta där det brister. Folk tror att det går att forska med oordning och oreda, men det är ju helt fel. Det gäller att ha mycket god ordning och reda inom allt. För i slutändan kan människor bli lidande när det är oordning och oreda.

Jag upptäckte totalt fusk när vi opponerade på en uppsats. Den var i princip plagiat i stora delar utan att de som skrivit uppsatsen hade gett rätt hänvisningar. De hänvisningar som fanns, de var också felaktiga. Och vi fick en sk godkänd uppsats att granska. Det är illa. Vi informerade vår institution om allt fusk, men jag tror inte vår handledare gjorde något åt saken. Det känns inget bra, då universitetet har godkänt den uppsatsen. Människor som fuskat har alltså mest troligen fått ut en examen. Så visst finns det dålig kvalité på studenter där ute. Så varför skulle det inte finnas fuskare inom forskningen? Kanske har de fuskat sig igenom hela livet? Vem vet?

Jag tror vi måste jobba aktivt för att förebygga fusk är kontroller. Forskningsrevisioner. Det skulle jag vilja jobba med!!! Gud vilket kul jobb! Forskningspoliser. Det föreslås också att sådana kontroller ska finnas i Vetenskapens Värld-programmet.

Även på Aktuellt berättas hos läkemedelsföretag håller tillbaka negativa fakta om deras mediciner. Så i princip kan biverkningar ta ut effekterna, så att medicinen är verkningslös. Vi som kunder får inte alltså ut all information om våra läkemedel. De mörkar helt enkelt även för våra institut som ska granska data om ett läkemedel, enligt Aktuellt. Varför är jag inte förvånad?

Att fuska och mörka är ju bara illa. Ekonomiska intressen styr, glory and fame också, istället för genuina intresset för att hjälpa människor. Så varför? Jo, för läkemedelsföretag tjänar pengar. Bakom pengar finns ekonomiska intressen. Det finns alltid risker när ekonomiska intressen ligger bakom ex forskning.

Sluta fuska i vetenskapens namn! Slut mörka när människoliv står på spel!

Även inom fotboll har det funnits uppgjorda matcher i VM-kval och Champions leauge, enligt Aktuellt. Är det fusk i hela världen överallt? Var är världen på väg? Vad är vitsen med att ens titta på en uppgjord fotbollsmatch? 80 matcher sägs vara uppgjorda.

Source:

Aktuellt, SVT2, 21.00. http://www.svt.se/aktuellt/

Vetenskapens Värld, SVT2. 20.00. http://www.svt.se/nyheter/sverige/morkade-resultat-fran-medicintester

The temp has spoken

One man, who doesn’t know me said I really had talent for what I do as a temp. A colleague so to speak. He asked what background I had. He was stunned. He too was well-educated. He said he was surprised by how much I know. And then I happen to think I know nothing. The more education I have gotten over the years, the less I think I know. That is the curse of knowing more than average.

I have my areas. But do not even ask me in math or physics and economics… bläääää. I am just saying that those are not really my areas of interest.

However he said that he thought I really should be the top boss at a work place. Haha. I then said to him I was a temp in high management during the fall and I was the punch bag for my boss. I also told him I once studied 1 year at the university at an education that would have led to management jobs, but i didn’t find that job interesting so I changed my major.

I however have a leadership education, so if someone did offer a job where I would have the mandate to change I would perhaps consider it.

I also said I have never bossed anyone around. I have however lead people a lot, but I have never been responsible for people, just for tasks. That is not the same.

How can a muslim accept being opressed?

I am wondering how a muslim can take when another muslim says they do not pray enough? How can they take when another muslim comments if they do not wear a veil? How can a muslim accept the fact that other muslims say they are not muslim enough? I am just wondering why the non fundamentalist muslims that live a modern way of life can take the fundamentalist comments? I think that we all need to believe how we believe and you and I shouldn’t judge another persons way of life into God. The relationship between god and women or men is a personal one. We all must believe our own way. Some choose to believe in life on Earth and not holiness other than trying to be in symbiosis with Earth. There is nothing wrong in that. Earth is the first thing we all should be in symbiosis with. After that can other things come, like belief, work and modern or old-fashioned living.

In todays SVD.se at page 5 in Brännpunkt story they have “Är Muhammed heligare än Jesus” printed once more. It is written by a Swedish muslim doctor. He to was judging until he was an educated doctor working at the hospital and didn’t have time anymore to pray five times a day. I think that how often a person praise is totally up to the person itself. It’s between that person and God, no human can judge. If  a persons actions are good and caring, who are you or I to judge if that person doesn’t pray? As long as we meet a nice human being living on the right side of the law we should be happy and thankful. There are so many that “follow” the rules of different religions and still do not follow other things in life – like being nice to another human being.

The doctor also asks himself how come Christians do not get furious when someone portraits or makes fun of Jesus whilst muslims start protests? I ask myself the same. In Christianity the religion is between me and God, not you and me. My life on Earth is to my fellow human beings, but my relationship with God is mine, not anyone elses to judge. If someone gets furious about comedies, comic strips and such about their Gods is someone who is not sure of their relationship with God. If you have a solid ground there is no need for you to not let artistic freedom take it place. That doesn’t mean that you need to like the job. But there is no need to start revolts just because someone wrote a book about their God. Still people do. Insecure people do. That is my point of view. Jesus said “Vänd andra kinden till”. Perhaps Muhammed should have written the same? For some things when it comes to religious belief you better turn your cheek. In religion that is. But things that are not even part of religion we need to address. Killing in the name of religion, any religion is just wrong. No God would agree upon you taking a life of another person beacuse they didn’t believe in God the same way as you. You have no rights what so ever to use any religious belief to take another persons life. Well. This is a discussion on its own and difficult to round up in just a simple chapter. So I leave this part of the discussion not totally explained. You can think a little too.

The Swedish muslim doctor in the SVD.se article is asking himself what kind of life he wants his kids to have. I think all of us should ask that. What kind of legacy do we want to give to the world? A world full of hate, distrust and poverty? A world full of crime, unequal life and climate changes to the worse? It is actually up to you. You are big part of this puzzle, you are not distanced from it. You effect everything around you, even if you live in the deepest of woods, far away from cities.

So think about your part. Did you smile to the stranger when you ride the train, subway train or bus the last time? What do you think affects people most a grumpy person or a smiling person? How do you think the two effect that person? Think about it. How does it affect you when someone smiles to you in a nice way? With those words I leave you to think.

And if the Swedish muslim doctor reads this, yes I consider him Swedish, since he lives here in Sweden.

Source 20121231:

http://www.e-pages.dk/svenskadagbladet/4291/ (paper version of SVD online 20121231)

Changes peoples lifes

Maybe it sounds like Utopia, you changing how others live their life? Well, we are all free to live, so really we do not have to listen to someone else. But then we live the life we live.

I have all through my life tried to share my opinion as often as possible. Not always in a diplomatic way. Not always without conflicts either. If you choose a life of speaking your mind… it may cause conflicts, others might not agree with you. Sometimes you might be the only one that thinks a certain way. I am saying that with the choice to be true to yourself comes a lot of other issues. Being true to your heart isn’t the easiest choice in life. But for me it has been the easiest choice. Allways when I haven’t been true to myself I live to regret that choice.

Even though you set out to be true to your own heart it doesn’t mean you will achieve all your goals. Why? Well your way and the way of the world might be in conflict with each other. That means that in order for you to reach your heats choice you need to be untrue to yourself. You need to do things that you really do not like, nor that are true to your own self. So what am I trying to say? Well. I am trying to say that your world may not be reached when you are being true to yourself. Sometimes it is better to fall in line, be that slave to the rich and get rich in a bad way.

When you are rich, then you can follow your own heart. However, then you probably live to regret yourself. Just like another. I don’t like all my life choices. I have done to much of those things I do not like for money. Money, money, money makes the world go around.

I actually have a love and hate relationship with money. The one that has the most when s/he dies has won! What a stupid thing to say.

I would like to change the world. I have never been rich. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to be rich. I would. But there is a limit to how rich I want to be. I want to live in a house with no loans. I want to have enough space to do artwork. I want to have enough money to live the rest of my life without really having to work. Then I could do my art.

What is the point with doing art? Well, my art isn’t just art. My art is a critic of the world. I speak my mind through my art. I speak my questions through my art. I want you to start thinking through my art.

As long as I am a slave to student loans, house loans and working for others in order to earn my living I am not free to use all my time to follow my heart. Actually I just have a little time. I still try. I still do. But not enough.

I also want to change public opinion. I have wanted to all through my life. This I also have. My spouse was very much on the opposite of my politics when we met, but is no more. My spouses friends are so-called “successful” people. However living in that wheel for a long time they looked at me and then changed. They took another less consuming job in their companies and spend more time with their families. However with a difference – they are millionairs and I am not. They are rich and I am… not poor, but not rich. Well. That is life. I think it is good they have money. One of the friends was in a relationship with a very successful person. However also very right-wing in politics. The person was siblings with very successful right-wing politicians. Imagine my conflict having to “enjoy” their company at a house-warming party. On the party was persons whose politics I write shit about! Haha. I actually hate their politics. And these people where there. When we came home I gave my spouse an ultimatum. Stop hanging out with this friend or else I will leave you. I do not want any of our future kids to be around such people I said.

Suddenly 3 months later my spouses friend broke up with the relationship and then they sold the apartment and went separate ways. The friend got into a new relationship later on with a left-wing person. This person I really enjoy. I very much want my kid to hang around that person. That person is a good role model. So with this. I have always spoke my mind. I later on told the friend that I had given my spouse an ultimatum about this. The friend listened and then agreed that the person didn’t very much enjoy that life either. So I think that me always speaking about solidarity, poverty and how we all are connected and how we, all of us, reflect on the public opinion together has made an impact on many people I have met over the years. I always have arguments, facts, science to give as examples. I always have true stories to share. This affects people. This plants ideas in people.
So I do change other people’s life. Hopefully they met the good me and not the bad me. Because I have both a good side and a bad side. Probably you already knew that.

I call the bad side the reptile side of me. Haha. The small brainer that goes on autopilot and lets bad anger take over. There is also good anger. There is a big difference, but that is a whole other story.

So off you go, change someone! You do not need to make them to take your point of view to their own, just share yours. You always plant a seed. Hopefully it goes your way… if your arguments are good enough. Otherwise you might even make them more of their own point of view…. saying it can backfire. Just keep that in mind. Sometimes you need to asses the situation before you do something. Well Good luck in changing all the worlds people’s point of view, a population increasing in count every day.

Do you want to read about a banker that changed her life when she finally wanted to follow her heart? Surf into:

http://www.dn.se/insidan/insidan-hem/fran-storbank-till-kooperativ-med-hjarta-i (20121215)

Music video – Enigma

The user Yo so eres tu eres yo soy (translation: so I am you you are me) on YouTube has uploaded this Enigma song Turn Around on YouTube.

The text in this video on youtube is the following:
de la vuelta ya verás
la vida es como e una rotonda
una espicie de LSD
de la vuelta y ten fe en
todos los cambios
de la vuelta y no sentirás
más momentos de soledad
eres una parte de mi
de la vuelta y te ensënaré algo
de la vuelta y te ensënaré algo
de la vuelta y te ensënaré algo
de la vuelta ya verás
la vida es solo una rotonda
una espicie de LSD
de la vuelta y ten fe en
todos los cambios
de la vuelta y no sentirás
más momentos de soledad
eres una parte de mi
de la vuelta
más allá de lo invisible
el prima de la vida
de la vuelta
el niño Interior, la gravedad
del amor
de la vuelta
transformación a través del tiempo
de la vuelta
de la vuelta y te enseñaré algo
de la vuelta y verás
la vida es solo una rotonda
una espicie de LSD
de la vuelta y ten fe en
todos los cambios
de la vuelta y no sentirás
más momentos de soledad
eres una parte de mi
la pantalla detrás del espejo
la voz y la serpiente
los principos de la lujuria
los ojos de la verdad
TNT para el cerebro
no te enfades, señor
no te enfades, señor
no te enfades, señor
de la vuelta y te enseñaré algo
de la vuelta y verás
la vida es como e una rotonda
una espicie de LSD
de la vuelta
de la vuelta y te enseñaré algo
de la vuelta y verás
la vida es solo una rotonda
una espicie de LSD
de la vuelta
de la vuelta y te enseñaré algo

This is the translation of the Spanish text:
you’ll see the return
and life is like a roundabout
one espicie of LSD
Return and have faith in
all changes
turn around and not feel
more time alone
are a part of my
of return and teach you something
of return and teach you something
of return and teach you something
you’ll see the return
life is just a roundabout
one espicie of LSD
Return and have faith in
all changes
turn around and not feel
more time alone
are a part of my
the return
beyond the invisible
the prime of life
the return
The Inner Child, gravity love
the return
transformation over time
the return
of return and teach you something
turn around and see
life is just a roundabout
one espicie of LSD
Return and have faith in
all changes
turn around and not feel
more time alone
are a part of my
the screen behind the mirror
the voice and the snake
by two principles of lust
the eyes of truth
TNT for the brain
do not be angry, sir
do not be angry, sir
do not be angry, sir
of return and teach you something
turn around and see
and life is like a roundabout
one espicie of LSD
the return
of return and teach you something
turn around and see
life is just a roundabout
one espicie of LSD
the return
of return and teach you something

Very strange text isn´t it? Makes you think. People listen to this music. The video uploaded on youtube has the feeling of grownups in a womb. Space and Earth is also shown. Analyze. Interpret. What do you think is the message from the video? Who shouldn´t be angry. Who is Sir? Who is snake in the middle of everything (a translation error or not?). The snake is the Devil in the Bible. Also called the truth sayer. Hmm. So with this info, what is this song really about?

Swedish authoroties give sensitive information about you to the search engine GOOGLE

Well, actually many sites send information to Google Analytics. Even wordpress has some kind of “teller” on all WordPress sites. If this is WordPress own solution I actually do not know. Since the beginning of Internet revolution “tells” have been possible. And yes, I have used tells on all my sites. However when it comes to sites lite Sjukvårdsupplysningen, the authority for informing the public about health issues and were they can get medical assistance. Well, maybe it´s sensitive if you search for something private that Google knows about it, like DN.se article is arguing about. Well, I also happen to think that Sjukvårdsupplysningen wants information about their users and they didn´t want to pay the development for a tool that is allready available. However if we think of the public then perhaps we could have bought our own with tax money. A product that would be a server that the Swedish government owned. This way the site could still gather information and so on. However the tax office is said to send anonymous information without IP-addresses to Google Analytics. This is possible, but few use it, according to the article.

Well, all athorities and companies should think about the information they willingly give away to Google. It is stored there. God knows for how long, forever? The information is not given to anyone or sold to anyone without your consent… the article says. I am wondering who´s consent, the one sending the information? And the article also says that Google does give the information to the Police, if needed. So even a harmless visit by mistake might be possible to use against you.

You are mapped. And who knows…. I know Google knows everything. Why cannot the users themselves say no in the browser to tracking totally? That would be the fair thing. I have chosen settings to hide me, still trackers know were I am …. so they do not work.

I think DI (datainspektionen) should make rules that Google isn´t allowed to save any information about Swedish citizens surf habits. I think the law shouldn´t allow tracking of citizens by privately owned buinsesses. That includes Google. Only anonymous not reverseble tracking should be allowed from my perspective.

Source 20120927:

http://www.dn.se/ekonomi/webbsidor-avslojar-ditt-besok-for-google

An ordinary life

Are you, just many others, living a ordinary life? A life with no really big things happening, more than family life that includes living an ordinary life. I would like to think many of us live ordinary lifes, with all it´s problems, everyday life happiness, sorrows and enjoyments.

But some of us live what I would call a struggling life. A life with a lot of things happening all the time. A comic character named Donald Duck is a unlucky guy and a good way to describe a struggling life. Well, now when you have that in mind, think of a person where there allways happens things in the background.

I asked a friend once if things like happens to me happens to the friend. The friend replied it never happens. I have been wondering why it happens around me? I can walk into a store. In the store a women falls in front of me, down on the stone floor. She hits her head on the way down. She is unconsious for a while. Her boyfriend is in chock. She is young, a teenager. I immidiately put her in a position so she can breath. I check her vital signs. I give him my phone so he can hall 112.

Well this is not the only incident. There are more like this, all trough my life. It happens a lot in fact. Once I was in a deparment store and a old man on crutsches fell 4 meters from me. I of course help him up and got help from others too.

Another time there was noice when I was walking. In front of me was a crowd of people. There was yelling (screaming), I saw the crowd just standing and doing nothing when one man tried to strangle another man. I went into the fight and brooke them apart. Then when I did this, a women helped. Non of the 20 men in circle helped. I said to the men that they where childish and should stop the madness.

I have wondered how come all these things happen around me?

These are just a few. Other stuff also happen around me, of different character, but that is another story. Haha. So are you a person that sees a lot?